What, NO SUGAR?!?

Wow, it has been almost a month since I've last blogged. Partly because I've been busy and partly because a lot of things that the Lord has been speaking to me about have been too personal to blog. Areas of such tenderness that it's hard to even go there myself let alone blog about. Yet He is so gentle, loving & patient and gives us what we can handle as we cleave to Him.
This past year my whole world has been rocked and God is making all things new. Not just new AGAIN... but a whole NEW NEWNESS.
In February, I went and had some tests done and they said that I have candida. Everyone is supposed to have a certain amount of candida (yeast) in their body, but an overgrowth can be very dangerous for your organs. Candida is caused from a high sugar diet, high stress over a long period of time, an over abundance of antibiotics and/or steriods or all of the above. Basically, your organs get sick because of an overgrowth of yeast in your body that pours into the bloodstream as poison/toxins. I had a very unhealthy eating regime and high stress in my life for a long period of time which led to the candida. I became very toxic because of stress, toxic emotions, extremely high sugar diet & not a lot of nutritious food at all. I was instructed to take natural pills and change my diet. Well... I am stubborn, so I did take the pills but I didn't exactly change my diet. I was NOT going to give up my numbing "drug" aka sugar so easily! The candida wreaked havoc on my body (which I won't go into---you can just google candida for symptoms) and something needed to change. I have decided to completely go off sugar and white flour for life and off all bread (even natural whole grain), dairy and fermented things for at least 3 months. I have not been perfect and I have to cheat at times with dairy & fermented things, but sugar is out of the question for me as it was affecting my central nervous system and causing all kinds of problems. There is a natural subsitute called Stevia that I love to use and is so much better for you and tastes better than sugar. I was severely addicted to sugar as would someone who was addicted to illegal drugs. This is just the tip of the iceburg of what God has been doing in my life. If I were to recall this past year, I think that I could write a book on it. There is no way that any of what is going on could happen without the Lord. He is so good.
I am at a very scary yet exciting time in my life. A lot of things are shifting and changing at what seems lightning speed! God doesn't call us to live lives of comfort. He wants His perfect will to be lived out in our lives. The past couple of days I have been saying to the Lord, "Convict me. Come and have Your way. I surrender. I want ALL of You. Whatever that looks like, I want it ALL." In the midst of so many options, I choose HIM. Even Him SHARING me in intimacy. That brings a whole new scary yet mysterious and profound perspective and shift to life. I am not my own. I was bought with a price, so I honor God will all that I am and all that I have to give. I give Him my heart, soul, mind & strength. My identity is found in Who HE is.
So, right now I am detoxing and the first 2 weeks were like hell with terrible cravings and irritability. I am still detoxing and my candida levels are, I believe, starting to level out. My ears have been popping since last May, so I am praying as I am detoxing, that my ears will also "detox" of candida. Please pray that the popping will cease as it's hard to describe the frusteration of day after day feeling like you are on an airplane and the pressures rises and your ears begin to pop. Yet with this, there is no suringe to clean them out with or gum to chew to make the popping go away.
I am so thankful and I rejoice for everything that God has done and is doing and orchestrating at this very moment! I didn't know that life could be so different. I am thankful for my pastor, spiritual leader and covering--Pastor Lee; my youth pastor, spiritual covering, friend & constant encouragement and guider who has helped me in some of my darkest times--Pastor Jon; my mentor/motherly figure--Valerie Norton; my friend who has helped me when I was helpless, confused and afraid and also in some of my darkest times--Jes Jones. Also, I am thankful for Bill Johnson as I feel as though he has been a father figure to me. I am thankful for my friend, Jered, who has taught me that men are not domineering, controlling and manipulative... or scary. I have learned so much already about bitter root judgements, but that will be for another blog. Lastly, I am thankful for my family and my new sister, Abbey Johnson. =)
This blog was supposed to be about sugar, but I have a way of going in all directions. I just like to type what's on my heart to a certain extent.
I never want to lose my identity in someone else, but that is also for another blog...wow, they are adding up! =)